You Know whats a real let down? When you pray for something so much, and used the power of expectation as with the power of belief. I did that, i honestly believed that some miracle would happen in the last minute before he boarded that plane. I told him, a miracle is sure to happen, im confident. Dont worry, something might happen, and as i said those words, i really felt so strongly that something was certain to happen. Prayed for it in my sleeps, heck last night i dreamp Vince was hear, i was sleeping and he pushed me off my bed and i was like oi! watre you doing!? T___T
and then i found out it was a dream. I believed, i didnt feel the holy spirit come through, i tried to make it come through, but you just dont know what you're doing. You dont know what to feel nor expect.
I kept thinking, something is going to happen any moment now. Nothing happened. Did i not expect enough? Did i not believe enough? Was my faith too weak? Were my prayers wrong? Did i not mean it? Were they just words? Was it meant to be? I even told him to jsut not take the flight and let immigration come after him, something whack might happen, perhaps a miracle. So how am i suppose to expect that he'll come back? His not coming back this september, he was suppose to for his 18th, because we wanted him back, how is that not enough? im done for now, this doesnt mean my faith has gone weak, its just i dont like it.