Everything we do, we hope. Even when we're not hoping, theres always a glimpse of hope. Because no matter how dark the situation, light shimmers through. And hope is like light, because the light gives us hope.
So why do we hope? because everything is worth hoping for. Nothing is too small, nor too big. If you can think of it, its worth hoping for. One way or another, if not, our hopes will come true in heaven.
No situation is ever hopeless. It's just a test of hope.
I'm not sure why i'm feeling this pain. I shouldn't, because theres nothing to be hurt about, but thats what over thinking does to you. It makes you ache.
Every time i get this feeling, i try to make myself feel normal, like i can brush it off. Tell myself it's nothing, so when people ask, i can say "i'm okay, its nothing". I think everybody does that, we tell ourselves "its okay" because deep down, we're hoping everything's okay.
It's been a-while since I've felt like this, it's good that i'm feeling it again, but then its bad, because its a bad feeling to feel haha. To be honest, I've been trying to neglect anything from happening because it's not me, but the more i neglect, the more i'm pursuing it.
We tell ourselves we shouldn't, but the more we try, the more we're not, because it only happens if it's meant to happen right? and yet, we still try.
After little planning from Suit-UP day. We decided to make a uniform day, in which nearly everyone of the group participated, which made it as L-E-G-E-N-D-A-R-Y as it was.
Check out the class photo. How could would it be, if we all went to the same high school? right? haha. Oh and i am wearing Kim's dress btw.
I love this photo. This was after the human pyramid, i just walked off with June on my shoulders and went to get some Sunkist haha.
What made the day even more better was, the bbq. two bbq's happened that day, the pharmacy one and the uni-life bbq. There were free lunch, games and fruit! haha. Kim beat me in connect 4, four times in a row. haha. Dam she's good. [=
so the day was a Wendesday, which marked the international suit up day, in memory if Barney Stinson (from how i met your mother)
The stalking. (we had to role play gay couples, i have no idea why).
And the proposal. I've never done anything so gay in my entire life. Should check out the footage on Elysias Tumblr. i dont know the link to it unfortunately haha.
A super nice photo of June, this shot totally captured the natural beauty haha. She deny's it, but i know she likes the photo haha ;)
Was a super fantastic day. The previous night, at 2am, after my DOTA game, i decide to pop on msn, and Zhen instantly messages me to Suit-UP! and so i agreed. Worrying he would bail on me, i decided to rock up in school uniform, and shoving my suit inside my bag. On the bus to town, i get a call from elysia telling me to go into the botanics becuase they want to do a photoshoot.
What they didnt tell me was, it was a Gay photoshoot. But never-the-less it was fun. We got to do some acting, found some ducks, had a awesome director, and best of all, got to do it all with good friends.
And so the day followed on slowly, which then lead to the idea of having uniform day.
So yesterday marked the birthday of my dear friend Zoe.
Okay, so i dont have any photoes of me and Zoe. But i've also know her for a short while, for about 3 years, slightly longer than Phoebe. And i just thought i'd share some memories and thoughts here. She was one of my favorite people to talk to, but i havnt spoken to her properly since. life happened haha.
But, it was her that got me to give church a go. And because of that, my life has transcended into the me i am today haha. That can only be good or bad haha. But i am very content with where i am today, and a large proportion of it is because of Zoe.
I remember when we use to chat for like 8+ hours a day. And she was always there for me to talk to. now thats a wonderful friend.
i was blessed, and because of her i found God. i dont know if you still read my blog Zoe, but i owe you a huge thanks and you probably dont know how much you helped me out at the time. But you did, and i will always be grateful [=
Thanks so much, and hope you had a super fantasticly blessed birthday [=
I've know her for a short time, maybe 2-3 years, and i have never heard her complain about anything, your one of the most positive people i know [=
Hope you had a super fantastic one [=
Me and my most favorite nemesis. Got to catch up with her at phoebes, i only get to see her once in a full moon. And i must say, she reminds me of how jerky i've gotten haha. It began with her, my transition from being nice to a jerk, i'm not blaming her, i'm just saying, she made it fun. haha [=
I feel like I've been ripped into two parts where one side wants this and the other wants that. And i think that you should let it burn. When your feelings ain't the same and your body don't want to(was listening to burn - Usher, at the time) haha.
Sometimes i know what i want, other times i don't. If only i wasn't so sure about myself. This uncertainty has been making me rather not myself. So many times i've convinced myself to let it burn. But it always remains the same, the more i try not to think about it. I guess it cant be helped until the candle burns out right? Maybe i wont let it, maybe i will. Not even i know what i'm capable of doing based on the past.
I hope i make the right call, because if i let this candle burn out, it will most likely be a regrettable one. I don't think i have it in me to make another naive decision.
I've become someone new again. I don't remember who i was, what i was doing, and have been sidetracked with my purpose. I think i'm at the human level (because i like to think i'm not human) haha
The level where we feel things that we think are real. We do things because we are afraid. And we over think small situations. God, i think i'm gonna need your help with this one. My hearts skipping beats.
Making a mistakedoesn'tmatter; what matters is how determined you are to fix it. But remember, a mistake is like writing on afoggywindow, no matter how hard you try to cover it up, if you look close enough... it'sstillthere.
Thetoughthing about following your heart is what people forget to mention, that sometimes your heart takes you places youshouldn'tbe, places that are as scary as they areexcitingand as dangerous as they are alluring, and sometimes your heart takes you to places that canneverlead to a happy ending. And that'snoteven the difficult part. The difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leavenormal, and you go into the unknown. And once you do, you cannevergo back.
It's the stories we tell our children that dictates the generations to come. It's the stories we believe in that determines who we become. We're exposed to monstrosity ammounts of stories, happy endings, bad endings, and crappy endings.
So i was webcamming with my family today. And i've gotta say, im a totally different person when it comes to family haha. My auntie was like "oh my you grew up so hansome, come over so i can pick you a girlfriend" and because my chinese sucks so bad, all i could say was "not neccesary".
She was like when you come to china, theres gonna be rows and rows of girls to choose from, i spent the entire webcam session laughing lol. why would i want a fob gf haha.
Moral of the post, family gives the best compliments haha.
The modern family series is a recommendation if you havnt seen it. Its absolutely hilarious. I just love the dad. Infact it makes me want a father, and want to be the type of dad that just has alot of fun. Kim was saying she could see me as one of em dads, cus im such a retard, i took it as a compliment. The adopted baby "Lily" is so adorable aswell. A series well worth watching. [=
At this age, all i want to do is have fun. I've finnished exams, and holidays have began for me, however, most my friends are still facing exams. So Friday night, i went to bug my friends studying, we ended up making prank calls which was really funny.
We played black and white, first one out, gets to do the prank. Kim Ta lost twice, i will see if i can upload the video, cus it was hilarious. [=
And so because of Kims misfortune, we thought we'd do 1-2 prank calls aswell. Because thats what friends are for right? to laugh with you, and at you.
So if somethings bad, make it good. Make it into something you can laugh about, and you'll have fun. Thats how i live.
If someone else feels down, make them laugh. if you screw up, just laugh, laugh it off. Everythings better when its funny.
Unfortunately the video recordings were too big a file, however, if you would like to view them, feel free to ask me anytime. They are quite amusing if you ask me ;)
So recently i had a dream about my primary school friends Skye and Brooke, also known as the twins. It reminded me about their friendship. They were the only people i looked foward to seeing, basicly they were my motivation to go to school.
And the dream made me think, i need friends like them in my life, so i immediatly went onto facebook to try and find them. Unfortuantely luck wasnt on my side. But that didnt stop me, i knew i dreampt about them for a reason. And 2 days after the dream, i happened to bump into Brooke at UniSA.
Just seeing her, makes me happy that she is still the same person, polite, social, and just the way i remember her as. Like just so happy they turned out to be good people. I will now try to re-establish our friendship to how it was since primary school graduation.
Unfortunately i dont have a photo of them. But yeh, thats whats on my mind this moment in time. An old friend, with old memories.
At UniSA we are very competitive people. We are in-fact many things. In-fact many things define us. Such as Tetris, PLOCK, 13, Uno, Dares, Connect 4, rock paper scissors, black and white (or should i say "Yellow and Yellow") haha, hide and go seek, smarty pants, chair racing, fb harrassment, jelly bean fights, gym, foosball, air hocky, pool, ice soccer, and of course bubble tea.
So IN YOUR FACE KIM TA!
We are known for many things. such as:
Kim Ta: King of Uno, King of Connect 4, King of Slaps.
Pan Li: King of Jerk, King of 13, King of PLOCK, King of Smartypants.
Chris Voung: King of Tetris, King of Pool.
Thong Ho: King of Jerk, King of Hide and seek, King of fb harrassment, and the King of the Gym.
Kevin Miao: King of Jerk, King of bullshit, King of Foosball.
I've always wondered what that sentence meant. I think its one of those things that only apply for a moment. For example: You let her go and then you're living the moment, then you think WTF have i just done? and you cross the world to get her back, and then you think "oh thats why" but deep inside you're thinking, it so wasn't worth it, cus, had you not let her go, it would have all resulted the same.
Theres no such thing as a knight in shining armour, in reality the closest thing, is a guy who puts you first and makes you laugh. I guess thats the type of knight i am anyway. not very special haha.