I fail me.

I need to be honest with myself, i keep letting myself down. Why?! why!? why!? why must i take the easy route. I cant figure it out, i have the mind set, the confidence, the authority, yet im lacking some thing. I have the faith, the resoluton, the vision. But its not going into action! Im getting no where, i have to fix myself by Monday, otherwise i cant forgive myself. This is so stupid, so easy, so why cant i do it? Monday! Monday! i must try my best, must not give in to any temptations.

I promise myself Monday, please Peter dont let yourself down again, its embarassing for me and you. You dissapoint me these days. Whats gotten into you? you use to listen to me, you use to follow me, you use to see what i see, and then you went your own path believing you had a better perspective? If i cant do this you cant, so dont resist, otherwise we're both going down. And even if this fails, its better if one of us goes down than both of us in the procedure. Will you trust in me again? and not walk away to write your own story? These are just chapters of our story. You better not ditch me in the spurr of the moment again, otherwise there aint gonna be room in this body for you next time. Either your in or your out.

C'mon, i can do this. I can catch this, i can reach this, i can match this, i can carry this, i can do it.

Your arrogance makes you naive.