Saturday, February 28, 2009

Row row row the boat. (:

I'm honestly quite surprised. Bloody bastards see right through me, i gues theres no need to hide.
We're all in the same boat lol.

State of mind. (:

Something doesnt feel right.
Just a matter of time. Its all state of mind.

Whack day. (:

So today was a very interesting day, although i love church and the people i hang with at church, i thought i'd pass todays service and attend my friends birthday celebration, having korean bbq and with intentions of going to the fringe festival but ended up going to a bar.
I've never had so muc beef in my life and Elysia jsut kept bringing them in, but was an awsome night, nice to see wen xian there and vy and eunice dont really see them much.

For the birthday cake we had this massive chocolate moose cake, was so dam sweet but delicious. Ended up arm wrestling and losing $10 lol gotta work out more XD
but yeh, but what made the day interesting and whack was, discovering that i attracted the same sex == yep its true, my friends were telling me to becareful cus this guy in my course, thinks i have a nice body and sum other whack thoughts which i do not intend to publish on this "PG" webpage.

I gues my fears have finally caught up with me, im vulnerable lol, nah aslong has i hang with a group of chicks and carry pepper spray i'll be safe jk. psh i can take care of myself and either way i have back ups, Zoe, Cheryl, Cherie, Sarah, Sharon and Vic sniper me the moment before i turn queer lol. nah okay so mayb it is shocking to discover i have a threat to my sexuality, but aslong as i dont pursue it im safe, right? lol

anyway was an awsome day, Happy bday Raf, Yuey, Martin and Mary. hip hip hooray!

Friday, February 27, 2009

Too many books!

After going shopping i thought i'd buy Cheryl a book, to take responsibilty for the one she lent me.
So i was looking at 9 differnt books all by Jodi Picoult cus she is such an awsome author. I decided to buy her "Tenth circle" but turns out Cheryl had alredy read it, so i went back to exchange the book.

I read the blurbs of all the book and got so addicted, i felt like buying 5 of them, but thought i'd buy 2 and come back for the others another time, so i decided to buy, "mercy" and "keeping faith" i began reading the keeping faith book and wow its pretty dam good oredy.
giving cheryl the "Mercy" one, man that blurb makes me wana read it aswell lol, but i havnt even finnished "twilight - new moon" yet ==

Gotta fuel my addictions.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Like route three. (:

I fear that i will always be a lonely number, like route three.
A three is all thats good and right, why must my three keep out of sight, beneath a viscious square route sign.

I wish instead i were a nine, for nine could forth this evil trick with just some quick arithmetic.
I know i will never see the sun as 1.7321.
Such as my reality, a sad irrationality. What hark, was this i see? another square route of a three, has quietly come waltzing by, together now we multiply, to form a number we prefer, rejoicing as an integer.
We break free from our mortal bonds, and with a wave of magic wands, our square route signs become unglued, and love for me has been renewed.

The mask is slipping. (:

If you were given a second chance to re-direct your life, would you make the same decision knowing that it could be a better purpose this time, or would you make the change and chose the other option, one you feel that could change your life completely.

Ive been provided a second chance, not only to find myself but to have something good, worth understanding/living for. How will i re-direct myself? Truth is, im afraid to make the decision. Either way its a win win direction, i'll end up somewhere enjoying myself but, where do i start?

I dont think i have the courage to re-diret my life the way i think i should, so im going ot hang tight and gaze upon my life as it drifts past me and hitch a ride when im ready for the final lap.

Decisions are all so complicated, if only i could time travel. Even if i could i probably wouldnt change pathways.

If only, God made the decisions for us, but he gave us free will to live and to live in his son Jesus. I gues everyone else has their own story and this in mine. As slowly as it unfolds, i'll keep in mind that time is against me.

The mask is slipping.*

Taking a break from xanga.

Wow blogster is so differnt to xanga, its abit neater but less functions.
I've decided to ditch xanga and come here, that page of mine has too much retarded information about my past from the past year, which i would rather forget. I should change all my xanga posts to private but im too lazy, atleast i can start fresh here. (:

Its currently 1am and i have Oweek 2molo at 12, i dont feel like attending cus its 35degrees 2molo ==
Im so exausted, my arms are sore and my back is like retarded cus i went to the gym with my brother andy, we're pretty close as siblings, closer than my older brother, but what ive always desired and wanted was a younger sister, why couldnt i have one T_T