Too many things for a small Heart. <3

The day before my oral presentation and the due date for my assignment, i get side tracked by.... very stupid things, i swear im refraining to swear. So dam furious with some people and other simple small and big matters, i have a huge adrenaline rush, i feel like smacking my wall, but i dont want my hands to be shaking and all bruised in my presentation tommorow.

like seriously, when am i going to stop putting others before me? Im not a magic man, i cant do everything and have everything work out just the way they want it to. Honestly give me a break, im trying and im trying, theres a limit to what i can handle and a limit to what i can do, but im still trying, im tyring... cant ppl bloody see im fkn trying.

Put them first priority, make sure they;re alrite, do what yu can, as long as they're good, i'll be fine. Its like im running and running and the finnishing line is in sight, and as i get closer, these things get in my way and im slowly geting more distanced from it. at this pace, im never going to cross it.

Put others first, put others first, put others first, i'll manage somehow, because my fk tard of a father wasnt able to, I'll be the better of him. its like im trying to do 5 things at once, in a time frame and do it successfully. I swear, i need propper sleep, and a long break from family and a funny movie before i lose my mind and rage at ppl i dont want to.

For now, i'll refrain, try my best to refrain. It'll all by past in a few hours sleep. At the least, look at and appreciate the ammount of things im trying to do at once, just because i care. Dont pressure me, or ask me, if i say i'll do it, i'll do it, if i give you my word, i mean it. dont bloody doubt me or think less of me, because im doing something else before i get to yours. Im just one person, who carries too many passengers.

I look like shit these days, eye bags, pimples, anger management, tiredness. Just leave me alone for a day or two.

His nuts. +_+

Okay, this is getting abit scary o.o, Zoe just texted me at 6:06pm and i jsut got home, got on msn, checked emails, face book, and looked at the time, its 7:07pm. Im beginning to think the clock is speaking to me. Whats with all these whack numbers *-*

1: Perhaps time is running low for me?
2: Its a whack sign?
3: Maybe it spells out something O_O ?
4: I'm losing my mind?
5: Maybe i'll beable to time travel *-*
6: I am officially nuts. +_+

Whack timing *-*

In the following days, ive been having such whack timings O_O
every random time i look at the clocks its always a corresponding unit to the hour. on Friday it happedn 5 times in a row
11:11am
1:01pm
1:11pm
4:04pm
8:08pm
10:10pm

and on Saturday it was
9:09am
11:11am
2:02pm
2:22pm
4:04pm

and today it was
11:11am
1:01pm
2:22pm
4:04pm
and now 8:08pm

maybe its a code O_ o doo di doo o.o, and i mean by randomly looking, not looking and waiting for it to change to that digit *-*

Save me! D:

Okay, i decided to blog, because i just currently noticed my state of mind is really messed up, and when i say messed up, i mean not in the right sense or in any sense at all. I was suppose to go to state libray the past 2 days to get away from distractions but i somehow managed to avoid the library which is really bad in my case. Im even using music, Ab work outs and television as distractions, i need a miracle, i need to get my act straight before i screw up uni.

I need something to whack some senses into me, something to get me determined and be more persistent throughout the year. Right now, im making a very slow productive progress, in fact its so slow, i dont think it shud be considered progressing at all. Where is my mind? When did i lose it? I cant seem to focus, or do anything right these days. Then again, i feel like a completely differnt person, not the person i was last year, although in the same characteristics.

Dear God, if you're reading this, which you are because your probably making me write this out right now to contradict myself. Save me from distractions and other whack things that spoil my mind. Fix my state of mind, make me stronger, give me a goal. I need to get my act straight fast, and time is going against me, I need your miracle work *-*

God, if you may, could you forcefully make me study, try hard, think before i do things, and just fix that broken gear inside me, somethings screwing up my focus and i need you do to something about it, because in my current state, i'll jsut be making excuses for it. Save me from this sin.

Set free! (:

Yes, its true, that "Hey whats that thing on your hands?" has finally been shredded out of my wrist, and it all happened about 3days ago about 1:20pm. The whale that was sitting next to me got hungry and mutiliated my wrist, slashing of my 2 wristbands o.o"

And now? this is all thats left... im lucky to be alive, and i've lived to share this incredible story about how i had almost been eaten. lol

Its been a whack 9months wrist bands and a whack 3 months bluey. (: But i guess the whale was too convincing lol

well done Zoe. (Y)

WAIT. (:

AND JUST A MINUTE AGO, HE TOLD ME TO WAIT.

Today, he drove successfully. (:

Today i went driving for an hour in my shit mobile, it was fun apart from having my pmsed mother scolding me every second when i thought i did a dam well good job of turns, signals and maintaining to drive straight. One thing i hate about my mum, when she talks, she bitches and screams in the car, and she daggers me, now how am i suppose to focus when someone is yelling in my ear and putting me down? And thats exactly why i almost rammed into a pole, because you distracted my focus. ==

Next time, trust in your own son more, no doubt, i dont doubt myself, i bet i could be pro at this in like a week lol. Heck i even had the balls to drive home and park lol, funny thing was, we were driving around ingle farm shopping market and there was another white chick in the same shoes as me but probably in her 30's, we were at an intersection and i signaled to turn right, and she stops and waves for me to turn, so i turn, and my mum starts bitching at me, "RAHRAHRAHRAHRAHRAHRAHRAHRAHRAHRAHRAHRAH!!!!!!! bastard!" and im just like, *-* she offerd for me to make my right turn, and my mum goes no matter what they say or do, you give way at a T-intersection and i was like, well if that was you, you

'd do the same and she responds by saying, your still an underling. == oh and btw my right turn was perfect i jsut have trouble keeping in mind, one drives up and the other lane drives down. other than that, i'll be on my P's soon if my mum stays off my back and stops pmsing when im driving.

Yay for a hour drive and learning how to park, turn, signal, turn on the car, turn on lights, use the mirrors and turning off the car in the appropiate manner. (Y) now i can add 2hours into my log book, thats right i just made 200% interest! (Y)

well that was my day, driving and being bitched at to the face, its not so pleasent i wish someone else thats more calm and less pmsd could teach me rather than my mother who no doubt has no trusts in her only successful son. (Y)

yay for me! and this is my shit mobile. (Y) Not bad for a first car hey? lol nah i wish i had that car. (N)

Hoi sing sauce! *-*

Omg right now im craving pho!

Pho + Hoi sing sauce = satisfaction. I cant wait til thursday just so i can go eat it. Never knew vietnamese cuisine was so good. (Y)

Last thursday i was eating pho with a past year 12 friend and Elysia walks pass and sees me eating the bowl clean lol, yeh quite embarassing, so we decided to go eat pho the coming thursday and it turns out raf askd wen xian to come eat this week aswell so we're gona eat it this thursday :D And then coincidentally talking about food with Zoe yesterday, turns out she should be joining us aswell if she doesnt wait on pheobe. I wonder who created hoi sing sauce *-*

right now i can smell migoreng *-* im starving D;

ps: it tastes better then it looks lol, + 2jugs of hoi sing sauce *-* = omg

Want or Need? O- o'

It seems from this point on, it only gets harder and more complicated. i find myself contradicting myself and getting into more screwed up situations. Although im managing quite well, i have slipped and fell alot during the past months mentally and spiritually. Right now, im just trying to sustain my goal. It seems that im an unleashed wild dog let loose. Right now, i have to think before my actions, hesitate before i speak, and be sure that no matter how badly i fall, i'll climb back up. I just need to get past this year, yet so many distractions and exceptions.

Comparing to previous years, i have handled things differntly, until this year, im trying to take order into my own hands and not from the core. Despite what others say and think, why does it seem that the simple things in life always gets chosen over the harder things in life? its like asking. why is it that what we want, can replace what we need? Perhaps its all in the comphrehension of satisfaction.

lalalallalalalala stick with the long term goal. (Y)

Lovely day. (:

Wow today was an Amazingly whack/interesting day.
I'll blog more tommorow, right now i am brain dead and wish Elysia all the best, Thank you for having me over, was great fun and appreciate the effort you've put into organising your birthday.

Amazing!

If i could record this and paste it here, what i'd say would be "HAHA!" im still in the house lol.
Well im really exausted and ive been slack in blogging my interesting weeks lately but i'll get back to it when i have the time. Im heading to bed now, gotta wake up at 7am 2molo!
takes 2hours to do hair, eat, dress and then xian is picking me up for the worse shopping mall in the world, yes im reffering to ttp. >.<
and all for some birthday shopping, 2molo is supose to be my study day, but i gues i'll cut bak on my weekly plans/schedules for the coming weeks. good night everybody. its been a wonderful week. God Bless!

Problems?

It seems that im alone in this situation.

Against all odds i have one person who supports me. That should be enough, right?

I had the funniest convo last night, omg Adrian, i feel so bad for him lol. Compared to him, mines nothing complicated. Its only complicated when you look beyond the answer.

"I got a problem and i dont no what to do about it. Even if i did, i dont know if i would quit, but i doubt it. I'm taken by the thought of it."

I see it.

This is bad, I've lost control.
its only now, i've been able to use these eyes again. I should take action. Yet i need help.

Your Story. (:

Wow, i just got a new sign. And it couldnt be more right.
"Your story" What wonders lye ahead?

O-Hunt. (:

If i've learnt anything last year, its to participate and acept the opportunities that come your way. Next saturday begins the "O-Hunt" im looking foward to it, but the requirements are a team of 5. The O-hunt is apparently a treasure hunt in town, and meets up at the Unisa City west. Unfortunately a majority of my friends can not be bothered to go, what a shame. Gotta try and organise a team of 5 for next week, All i know is, Cherie, Wenxian, Michelle and Elysia, but nobody is in a group, i gues i'll just rock up on the day and see if i can squish in or i might get lucky this week and ppl change their minds. :D

But O-Hunt sounds pretty interesting.

Love in a Circle:

If you love something let it go and if it comes back then thats how you know. I got to the stop light, then I made four rights, now I'm back where I started and you're back in my life. The further I go, the closer I get back to you. I say I moved on till I'm reminded of you, can somebody help me, help me get out of this circle, get out of this circle?

Beautiful girl *-*

I feel so honored, today i saw the most beautiful white chick in Australia. Unfortunatly i dont have a picture of her nor her name, but judging from the way she spoke, she has a nice personality, and i swear if i see her again, im gonna tell her, how beautiful she is lol. Not that im trying to pick her up, just seems like a once in a life time thing lol.