I would...

rather live in a world with pain, than a world without. 

because feeling everything is the whole point of everything. We wouldn't understand if we didn't feel. Whether we're confused like Kim or not, it's normal haha :P

Leap of faith.

It gets boring when you live in black and white.  

But when you choose to live without knowing, it's more colorful. It's a bigger picture. It becomes your dream.

however, colors fade.....

If only.

We live everyday thinking "if only". 

Today i made a decision knowing that i would regret. I'm a bad decision maker, is all it is. Inside i really didn't want to, but i couldn't keep her waiting. 

Yes, love exists. But not in the form of "right here and now" but in the form of "this feels right". 

but this is neither now or right.

Holy Spirit, i need God's help right now. Amen. [=

and through these eyes.... i see an angel in disguise.

We are God's Angel's.

Hope.

Everything we do, we hope. Even when we're not hoping, theres always a glimpse of hope. Because no matter how dark the situation, light shimmers through. And hope is like light, because the light gives us hope. 

So why do we hope? because everything is worth hoping for. Nothing is too small, nor too big. If you can think of it, its worth hoping for. One way or another, if not, our hopes will come true in heaven. 

No situation is ever hopeless. It's just a test of hope.

have faith. [=

Theres no point in trying. Morals can't fight whats meant to be.

I'm not sure why i'm feeling this pain. I shouldn't, because theres nothing to be hurt about, but thats what over thinking does to you. It makes you ache. 

Every time i get this feeling, i try to make myself feel normal, like i can brush it off. Tell myself it's nothing, so when people ask, i can say "i'm okay, its nothing". I think everybody does that, we tell ourselves "its okay" because deep down, we're hoping everything's okay. 

It's been a-while since I've felt like this, it's good that i'm feeling it again, but then its bad, because its a bad feeling to feel haha. To be honest, I've been trying to neglect anything from happening because it's not me, but the more i neglect, the more i'm pursuing it. 

We tell ourselves we shouldn't, but the more we try, the more we're not, because it only happens if it's meant to happen right? and yet, we still try.

Reality is HUGE!

but... IMAGINATION is infinity.

There will always be an idea, a thought, a memory, a light bulb.

Hot Dawg.

how adorable right? nom nom nom nom. [=

Take each day one step at a time.

enjoy it, and then move on..... Otherwise, you may trip or miss out.

Uni-Form day at Uni.

After little planning from Suit-UP day. We decided to make a uniform day, in which nearly everyone of the group participated, which made it as L-E-G-E-N-D-A-R-Y as it was. 

Check out the class photo. How could would it be, if we all went to the same high school? right? haha. Oh and i am wearing Kim's dress btw. 

I love this photo. This was after the human pyramid, i just walked off with June on my shoulders and went to get some Sunkist haha. 

What made the day even more better was, the bbq. two bbq's happened that day, the pharmacy one and the uni-life bbq. There were free lunch, games and fruit! haha. Kim beat me in connect 4, four times in a row. haha. Dam she's good. [=

Uniform day was funtastic! haha

Suit-UP! day.

so the day was a Wendesday, which marked the international suit up day, in memory if Barney Stinson (from how i met your mother)

Suiting-UP

The stalking. (we had to role play gay couples, i have no idea why).

 And the proposal. I've never done anything so gay in my entire life. Should check out the footage on Elysias Tumblr. i dont know the link to it unfortunately haha. 

A super nice photo of June, this shot totally captured the natural beauty haha. She deny's it, but i know she likes the photo haha ;)

Was a super fantastic day. The previous night, at 2am, after my DOTA game, i decide to pop on msn, and Zhen instantly messages me to Suit-UP! and so i agreed. Worrying he would bail on me, i decided to rock up in school uniform, and shoving my suit inside my bag. On the bus to town, i get a call from elysia telling me to go into the botanics becuase they want to do a photoshoot. 

What they didnt tell me was, it was a Gay photoshoot. But never-the-less it was fun. We got to do some acting, found some ducks, had a awesome director, and best of all, got to do it all with good friends. 

And so the day followed on slowly, which then lead to the idea of having uniform day. 

Happy Birthday Zoo Girl. [=

So yesterday marked the birthday of my dear friend Zoe. 

Okay, so i dont have any photoes of me and Zoe. But i've also know her for a short while, for about 3 years, slightly longer than Phoebe. And i just thought i'd share some memories and thoughts here. She was one of my favorite people to talk to, but i havnt spoken to her properly since. life happened haha. 

But, it was her that got me to give church a go. And because of that, my life has transcended into the me i am today haha. That can only be good or bad haha. But i am very content with where i am today, and a large proportion of it is because of Zoe. 

I remember when we use to chat for like 8+ hours a day. And she was always there for me to talk to. now thats a wonderful friend. 

i was blessed, and because of her i found God. i dont know if you still read my blog Zoe, but i owe you a huge thanks and you probably dont know how much you helped me out at the time. But you did, and i will always be grateful [= 

Thanks so much, and hope you had a super fantasticly blessed birthday [= 

My favourite Pigeon

Happy birthday Phoebe [= 

I've know her for a short time, maybe 2-3 years, and i have never heard her complain about anything, your one of the most positive people i know [= 

Hope you had a super fantastic one [= 

Meanwhile....

Me and my most favorite nemesis. Got to catch up with her at phoebes, i only get to see her once in a full moon. And i must say, she reminds me of how jerky i've gotten haha. It began with her, my transition from being nice to a jerk, i'm not blaming her, i'm just saying, she made it fun. haha [=

And so, came the King of Jerks.

Mirror symbol:

The mirror reflects emotions of the past. It could very well be possible that this week you will meet an old lover or friend for whom you had warm feelings.

Torn in between two.

I feel like I've been ripped into two parts where one side wants this and the other wants that. And i think that you should let it burn. When your feelings ain't the same and your body don't want to (was listening to burn - Usher, at the time) haha. 

Sometimes i know what i want, other times i don't. If only i wasn't so sure about myself. This uncertainty has been making me rather not myself. So many times i've convinced myself to let it burn. But it always remains the same, the more i try not to think about it. I guess it cant be helped until the candle burns out right? Maybe i wont let it, maybe i will. Not even i know what i'm capable of doing based on the past. 

I hope i make the right call, because if i let this candle burn out, it will most likely be a regrettable one. I don't think i have it in me to make another naive decision.

Oh it's what you do to me.

Dear Diary:

I've become someone new again. I don't remember who i was, what i was doing, and have been sidetracked with my purpose. I think i'm at the human level (because i like to think i'm not human) haha 

The level where we feel things that we think are real. We do things because we are afraid. And we over think small situations. God, i think i'm gonna need your help with this one. My hearts skipping beats.  

No more denial.

I'm not gonna lie to myself anymore. I'm pretty sure i like someone right now. haha [=

Liking someone is always messy. But nothing is ever clean before it's messy. 

Miss-takes.

Making a mistake doesn't matter; what matters is how determined you are to fix it. But remember, a mistake is like writing on a foggy window, no matter how hard you try to cover it up, if you look close enough... it's still there. 

  The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention, that sometimes your heart takes you places you shouldn't be, places that are as scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring, and sometimes your heart takes you to places that cannever lead to a happy ending. And that's not even the difficult part. The difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal, and you go into the unknown. And once you do, you can never go back. 

don't expect, just live.

one thing about being on top of the world;

is it gives you a long, long way to fall.



you spend so much time expecting the worse.

that you don't even notice the moments when someone loves you.

Love.

people don't change,

they become more of who they really are.

that's why love is madness.

it's too easy to lose your mind,

when you lose your heart.

nothing was real.

loneliness doesn't kill you,

it aches and it taunts you,

but it doesn't kill you.

sometimes i wish it did.

you obviously can't see how much you have changed,

and how much the old you meant to me.

the day you actually take time to notice, is the day you're too late.

What are we?

turns out;

you can't save people from themselves.

you're right, i'm not who i once was.

because we arn't who we once were.

What's it worth?

If it isn't hard,

it isn't worth having.

It's the possibility that keeps me going,

and though you may call me a dreamer or a fool or any other thing,

i believe that anything is possible.

You surprised me too.

If its the thought that counts, 

then you can count on me,

because i think about you all the time.

Heres a psycological fact: [=

when a person cries and the first drop of tears comes from the right eye,

it's happiness. but when the first roll is from the left, it's pain.

What i could never admit to myself.

- I'm so scared that one day,

 you'll finally feel the same about me.

 but i'll have gotten over you,

 that's why i can't let go.

Its like moving mountains.

Human.

Despite all that i feel now, everytime, she makes me feel human. I don't think i can get enough of that.



Warning: Don't be afraid to try something new.

I know what i want, and when those standards arn't met, you make me reconsider everytime.

Just who are you exactly? and what do i want from you? Theres no SHAME to curious thoughts.

Curiosity killed the cat.

Sometimes we're too picky.

She makes me curious. But if i fell for every girl that made me curious, i'd be a dead cat.

On the contrary, i have 9 lives. Just how many of them did you require? I could make my move now, or i could wait patiently. Theres all the time in the world, no need to rush.

If it happens, it happens,and if not? then we act like nothing happened.

What if?

This is the first i've seen your face,

but theres a chance we are soulmates,

i know this may sound crazy, cus you dont know my name.

but we can't, we can't tell, the future no.

But thats just the beauty of the world we know,

so im'ma say baby, what if. 

Anukah atataMHakuna Matata

Happy endings exist.

It's the stories we tell our children that dictates the generations to come. It's the stories we believe in that determines who we become. We're exposed to monstrosity ammounts of stories, happy endings, bad endings, and crappy endings.

What is love?

Love is not fate, it is mearly a Coincidence.

we dont make coincidences, we make what we call love, and end up hurting ourselves. I guess we'll know if its a coincidence, because we'll know when the time comes.

500 days of summer, absolutely loved the ending. Makes me want a girlfriend haha.

I make them good girls go bad.

I think its hard to like a good girl. They've got to be atleast 65:35 good to bad ratio. Alot of guys would agree.

ps: bad does not mean "be a skank" nor "take drugs and get wasted" or "flirting". It simply means some form of rebelising, taking control and knowing how to have fun. 

We-cam

So i was webcamming with my family today. And i've gotta say, im a totally different person when it comes to family haha. My auntie was like "oh my you grew up so hansome, come over so i can pick you a girlfriend" and because my chinese sucks so bad, all i could say was "not neccesary".

She was like when you come to china, theres gonna be rows and rows of girls to choose from, i spent the entire webcam session laughing lol. why would i want a fob gf haha.

Moral of the post, family gives the best compliments haha.

The modern family series is a recommendation if you havnt seen it. Its absolutely hilarious. I just love the dad. Infact it makes me want a father, and want to be the type of dad that just has alot of fun. Kim was saying she could see me as one of em dads, cus im such a retard, i took it as a compliment. The adopted baby "Lily" is so adorable aswell. A series well worth watching. [=

Fool me once shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Never let it happen again.

Sheep: Dhiarea attack!

Because i can.

I like to make my sheep battle Kim's turtle. He always wins and never lets me down. Thats why Kim is always paying me out. Dhiarea attack now!

It's all about having fun. [=

At this age, all i want to do is have fun. I've finnished exams, and holidays have began for me, however, most my friends are still facing exams. So Friday night, i went to bug my friends studying, we ended up making prank calls which was really funny.

We played black and white, first one out, gets to do the prank. Kim Ta lost twice, i will see if i can upload the video, cus it was hilarious. [=

And so because of Kims misfortune, we thought we'd do 1-2 prank calls aswell. Because thats what friends are for right? to laugh with you, and at you.

So if somethings bad, make it good. Make it into something you can laugh about, and you'll have fun. Thats how i live.

If someone else feels down, make them laugh. if you screw up, just laugh, laugh it off. Everythings better when its funny.

Unfortunately the video recordings were too big a file, however, if you would like to view them, feel free to ask me anytime. They are quite amusing if you ask me ;)

What is good?

'the only absolutely good thing is a good will, and so the single determining factor of whether an action is morally right is the will, or motive of the person doing it.'

Some people say the young are naive. I say we're as good as we're young, and as naive as we're old.

My heart is not pure.

I'm a good person, i am. what makes a good person good?

I'm nice, caring, thoughtful and considerate. Some would say i have a good heart.

But inside, im pretty selfish and full of secrets. I have hatred, i have regrets, i have pain i want to inflict upon those who've hurt me.

I'm as shallow as i am good.

So what does that make me?

Human.

And the thing is, im not the typical guy. I'm better than alot of em.

My gift to those who've hurt me is regret.

Happy.

So recently i had a dream about my primary school friends Skye and Brooke, also known as the twins. It reminded me about their friendship. They were the only people i looked foward to seeing, basicly they were my motivation to go to school.

And the dream made me think, i need friends like them in my life, so i immediatly went onto facebook to try and find them. Unfortuantely luck wasnt on my side. But that didnt stop me, i knew i dreampt about them for a reason. And 2 days after the dream, i happened to bump into Brooke at UniSA.

Just seeing her, makes me happy that she is still the same person, polite, social, and just the way i remember her as. Like just so happy they turned out to be good people. I will now try to re-establish our friendship to how it was since primary school graduation.

Unfortunately i dont have a photo of them. But yeh, thats whats on my mind this moment in time. An old friend, with old memories.

Korean-Chat.

So basicly the Koreans at uni have been talking. It's the 5th time this month i've been asked this question "why are you still single?"

They've been telling me stories about how their korean, and that their korean friends, and their friends, are dating cambo's. And that their Cambo friends also have Korean girlfriends.

So apparently im deemed to have a Korean girlfriend. Although my previous two have been Malaysians haha.

This is the first i've heard of this conspiracy, although i wouldnt mind a Korean girlfriend haha. Interesting talk going around haha.

Kim Ta got PLOCKed!

At UniSA we are very competitive people. We are in-fact many things. In-fact many things define us. Such as Tetris, PLOCK, 13, Uno, Dares, Connect 4, rock paper scissors, black and white (or should i say "Yellow and Yellow") haha, hide and go seek, smarty pants, chair racing, fb harrassment, jelly bean fights, gym, foosball, air hocky, pool, ice soccer, and of course bubble tea.

So IN YOUR FACE KIM TA!

We are known for many things. such as:

Kim Ta: King of Uno, King of Connect 4, King of Slaps.

Pan Li: King of Jerk, King of 13, King of PLOCK, King of Smartypants.

Chris Voung: King of Tetris, King of Pool.

Thong Ho: King of Jerk, King of Hide and seek, King of fb harrassment, and the King of the Gym.

Kevin Miao: King of Jerk, King of bullshit, King of Foosball.

Delphine Thiu: King of Jerk.

Clara Nguyen: King of Rock, paper, scissors.

Thao Nguyen: King of dares.

Mei Shi: King of Jelly bean guessing.

Another WTF moment.

So this photo pretty much sais it all. I'm sure you wont need me to describe where? you'll figure it out, nah i'll do it anyway.

I bet ya if it showed more than 3 pictures, there would be a fourth and a fifth. It's no wonder i cancled the event haha jk.

Because we're family. (:

Pan: Have you got my back?

Kim Ta: I've got you're back.

Pan: Oh shit, you really do!

Kim Ta: I know rite!?

Kims awesome for those who havn't met her yet, yep, i've got a pretty awesome family in the east side.

Random #4

Apparently i look like this guy from superjunior.

To be honest, i dont see the resemblence, however it is a compliment so i'll take it. thanks guys.

Will you fight for love? or would you fight to love?

If you truly love her, then let her go.

I've always wondered what that sentence meant. I think its one of those things that only apply for a moment. For example: You let her go and then you're living the moment, then you think WTF have i just done? and you cross the world to get her back, and then you think "oh thats why" but deep inside you're thinking, it so wasn't worth it, cus, had you not let her go, it would have all resulted the same.

Theres no such thing as a knight in shining armour, in reality the closest thing, is a guy who puts you first and makes you laugh. I guess thats the type of knight i am anyway. not very special haha.

Laughter is the best medicine.