Addicted.

Oh i am craving badminton.

check out that wrist. *-*

Check out that reflex!

And this guys crazy jump smash! D:

Lets take a picture here!

Fun times.

We have the most random fun times doing nothing in town.

Love this photo.

Hit me.

So as i was walking to the shops, i was thinking about someone. (No names will be mentioned). And its weird, because everytime i think about this person, I feel like i've met them beforehand (and i have). But its more like, i've been in the future and back, as if i've met them before i actually met them. And i remember when i did, it felt exactly like it was suppose to feel. I'm not saying i like this person in a certain manner, but its like, i could if i wanted to. Is that what they call soul mates? And as cliche as this may sound, but i feel as if, fates the dealer and we're the contestants. And we've all played blackjack, we're not competing with each other but the dealer.

So, as i was walking to the shops, i was thinking, summing up all the possibilities of why i feel as if each day is playing out as its suppose to. Why things happen for a reason? Why despite how i play, the same cards are just waiting to be laid down. And then i look up, i see two purely white doves, and im thinking, is that normal? i mean how often do you see doves? in Adelaide. Well for instance, i havnt seen a dove all year, yet alone that close, with that thought in mind. Maybe despite all those letters informing me of my "final notice" to return my event photoes from Maye's formal, it was suppose to lead to this moment.

I didnt see myself walking to the shops, i didnt see myself thinking about this person, i didnt expect doves waddling a few feets infront of me. It was as if, i was walking, and they flew directly infront of me, to get my attention. It could be the reason why i'm avoiding relationships now, because at the back of my head, i'm thinking nothings going to work out, until the trump cards been played.

Life is like a deck of cards, you never know whats going to be played, you cant predict the next card. We rely on luck, and chance, we all want to win, nobody wants to lose.

Vain.

I'm so stressed out by so many things this week. My family has been the least supportive if anything, im beginning to see that i hate each one of them more and more everytime we bond. I've become so vain. What else could go wrong? everything. It's almost like your soul purpose is to piss me off, get me off track, then return to the hell you came from. You're insignificant, and i hate you.

Dr Cox's best quote.

Scrubs

Dr Cox's Quote: Relationships dont work the way do they in telivision and the movies, will they? wont they? and then they finally do, and they're happy forever, give me a break. 9 out of 10 of them end, because they wern't right for eachother to begin with, and heck the ones that get married get divorced anyway, and im telling you right now through all this stuff, i have not become a cynic, i havn't. Yes i do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate coated candy, and you know, in some cultures, a chicken, you can call me a sucker i dont care, cause i do, believe in it. Bottom line, its couples that are truly right for eacher other waiting for the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they dont let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship everytime, if its right, and their real lucky, one of them will say something.

The Fray - How to save a life.

Scrubs.

This scene has so much emotion in it, Dr Cox has never shown this much emotion in all the series of scrubs. The scene where J.D. is about to pull Dr Cox out of his pit, unfortunatly not all days go according to plan as this scene indicates, and thats just how life opperates. And i can imagine being a doctor, being obsessed with saving lives, i've been in my own type of obsessive stage, and the thing about being obsessed is you dont notice anything else but the matter. The transplanted organs they used were from a person who died from rabies, but they thought she died of drug overdose. So when they used the diseased organs, the transplant patients died from it. You can imagine how responsible you'd feel, and then the guilt from being obsessed would just kill you.

And when the last patient dies he sais to J.D. "he wasnt about to die was he newby? he coulda waited another month for a kidney" that came out so strong. Carla looked like she's trying to store her emotions to make herself look strong. And the final scene JD reminding Dr Cox what he taught him when he first arrived, Dr Cox walks away as though his emotions are more important than his career. The thing that makes this clip really touching is that throughout the series, Dr Cox is known to be a major smart ass, one of the best doctors in the hospital, a jackass, and emotionless. And that scene was able to erase all those characteristics.

They also used one of the best songs ever written "The Fray - How to save a life" fit pefectly into the scenes, Scrubs couldnt get any better.

Scrubs is one of those series where everyone is the main character, they're all hilarious, nobody can be favoured more, J.D. being the narrator makes him stand out, but i cant really say, i have a favourite character, they're all hilarious.

Owl City - Vanilla Twilight.

The silence isn't so bad,

'Til i look at my hands and feel sad, cause

I'll find repose in new ways,

Though i havnt slept in two days,

'Cause cold nostalgia,

Chills me to the bone.

But drenched in vanilla twilight,

I'll sit in the front porch all night,

Waist-deep in thought because,

When i think of you i dont feel so alone.

Very lovely song. (:

Holy Cows!!!!!

After i blog about my day, i never want to think about it again. Thank God!!!

Holy crap! thank God for being with me, and giving me a life saver in that heck of a hell hold!

Holy Spirit, i pray that you will always answer my prayers, that you will always be with me mentally, physically and spiritually. I pray that you will give me strength, wisdom and love in all areas of my life, that you will fullfill me forever spiritually and mentally. I pray that you will give me understanding, confidence, and courage, that you will always guide and protect us in your divine love, for you are our salvation, king, father and mighty God. I pray to grow stronger in faith and commitments lord, that you will always provide for me, that your holy hands will be there for me to clench onto in my times of chrisis. I pray that we will be in good health and that your light will always shine with us. In your Holy name Jesus we thank you, Amen!

Roses are red and roses are red.

Roses.

It took me a while to decide, yet to recreate the original rose, but it was done. Only recently i discovered editing a blog background was possible. And it was then that i came up with the idea to make my blog more attractive to compete with all the other blogsters, to make up for my level of crap linguistic.

So i ended up using the above one as you can see, mainly because it reflected the white background (white zig zags) It took me forever to work out i couldnt make the letters inside the picture transparent, because i was expecting too much from photoshop (paint really haha).

This one has my signature in red. It looks kind of magical. Its strange, i have no idea why i have such an interest in roses. Well i believe if anything should symbolise what we feel, a rose is that symbol. Its beautifully engineered, red petals symbolise love, hate, anger, stress, happyness, and the green leaves and thorns represent the poison life holds on us. We're surrounded and feel all this pain, yet we live in a hopeful world, a world that searches for love.

It's also been a very poppular sign to me. It keeps occuring and occuring, repetitively. What makes it a sign is that i notice it, and when i do, i have a very deep feeling, im not sure what its about, but everytime i see it, i feel as if i should cheer up. Strange, i know. Or some would say, childish. But this is what makes me who i am, i believe what i choose to believe, i speak freely, i judge on what i feel, and i follow my feelings (Heart).

As for "Gone rogue" thats an expression of me i guess. You could say at the moment, im rogued. But, as for the roses, i thought i'd decorate my page with something that means something to me. And what better than an unpredictable rose. As for "Two is better than one" i just find that quote very meaningful. Its obviously true, but sometimes the truth isnt what matters, its what reminds you of the truth and what makes the truth, even if its wrong.

Two is better than one, no matter how you see it. I've always seen myself as a "solo". I've always thought having a partner was weak. And thats a bad characteristic of me, sometimes i think by myself, i solo myself, i dont share (rarely), i forget that im not alone anymore, so i do things my way. Two is better than one, its so obvious, yet it makes me think. It must mean more to me than just that, otherwise i wouldnt be thinking so much.

And its occured to me that God has been trying to speak to me this week and last week. He reminds me of things i should fix. Like, he'd make it not obvious, but say im watching telivision, and he'd make me notice a characters name, and then i'd be thinking about that person. Or even have a series played out directly like my life and i'd be like, haha yeh i handled that totally differently, even wrongly, its funny, and i know i can still do something about it, but i wont.

Theres one thing i hate, someone who has so much pride in themself, that they wont take an honest apology, or misunderstanding, they're too caught up in themself that if they were to sercum to my offer they'd feel despised. That they'd try to make my life hell because i made a simple honest mistake, they get real stubborn, affended and stuck up, that eventually when they take your offer, they cant seem to accept that you are totally not what they assumed you to be. They say thank you, but we're both thinking, theres no meaning behind it.

It stresses me so much that people are caught up in their pride, i admit i am. But im not very stubborn about it, i dont get affended, i just dont care. But not being able to look past your pride for something that benefits you is just stupidity. I hope i never meet another person like you, even if your view of me has changed, it kills me that your so short tempered, and childish. Then again, boys will be boys.

So why is it that guys hold grudges on each other more than girls? Gosh i suck at tolerating guys, at the moment i have no male friend that i talk to on msn, on the phone, or hang out with one on one. To be honest, i find hanging with a guy friend awkward at times. It freaks me out, unless we're on our way some where, but other than that, just hanging with guys feels weird. I'm weird. Maybe i should work on my perspective towards guys.

See with girls, if they get on fire, it wouldnt bother me as much, but when a guy raises his flames at me, i burn back. Only male exceptions Raf, Quoc (James). Then again, i never get into any disputes with most my male friends, not close enough to reach the dispute stage. This blog has gone way off track. Well i guess those are my thorns.

And the best thing about a rose is, we focus on the petals and not the thorns.

WeCam. (:

Webcamming.

I've only ever webcammed with three people, Zoe, Janice, and Genial (mum webcams with cousin). The weird thing about webcamming is that you do things and say things you wouldnt normally do. Its strange, yet effective, you do more stupid things, or perhaps its just me. Gosh this is Genial doing the ring, i was showing my sign of approval, she had no idea i was gona screen shot it haha.

Webcamming is quite fun though, however i believe its one of those options you should only take when your severely bored. Because once your in, you're being watched. And if you use it frequently, it defeats the whole purpose of having one.

The above picture also illustrates that i am using the new msn messenger, dam i hate it. Its sort of growing on me now, because of all the moral support Sir-rah has been giving me, even though i keep bagging it out, and getting comments like your uncool if you've only just got the new msn (Jaime). Plus it also has a lack of privacy, for example when choosing a skin, other people who have your frame open can also see what skin your thinking of using, so i was giving Sir-rah the privacy talk, and being me, i have a folder of black mail photoes haha. She was on appear offline, so she couldnt see the example i gave her. You can only imagine. (:

Some things i've done on webcam, theres not really much to do for entertainment.

1. Make silly faces

2. Eat air

3. Show off all your toys

4. Patt people on the head (wtfuck? lol)

5. Staring contest

6. Eat infront of them.

7. Show off hair cuts (shifty eyebrow)

8. Look bored at each other.

I have yet to experience the real purpose of the Webcam or my version the "WeCam".

I'm you and you're me.

Hello again, haha im so excited, im finally seeing my family again, even if its visually, i definiatly have the motivation to visit them next year. <3

This is one of my family's daughter, i have no idea, we have so many.

This is another two people in my family, i have no idea who they are, but they look happy.

This huge fellow is my cousins younger brother, he's 16, and his more ginormous than me. I rememeber him when i visited his home when i was 4, he was much smaller and less browner than me. *-* (wow my english sounds so bad here, but im too lazy to make it sound better) haha.

This is my beautiful cousin, well im not sure what she is, because my mums little sister has children (in the blog before this blog), and this is my mums elder sisters daughter, shes 18, older than Andy by a couple of months (i was saying Andy would never sercum to an older sister haha). Yet on webcam, she looked older and had more confidence, but if it were english we were speaking in, perhaps we might have chatted more. I'm so gonna learn chinese (manderin) again, im actually not that bad at reading haha. (:

This is her again and another cousin, i have no idea how many and how technical family gets haha. The image i had in mind of my homeland was old fashion and stuff, but it seems they are quite fashionable too. Its actually quite weird, out family has weird genetics, well the cool ones that is, because each of the cool ones of us all have a freckle on the exact same spot on our faces, either on the right or the left cheek, i had one on both sides, got one removed in the process, the other i kept scratching, must have rubbed off the medicine. D;

My family's someone, no idea who he is, i got confused somewhere in the process of understanding whose family and whose not, i dont even know now, my mum has two sisters, maybe his a brother of one of them. makes you think, international countries have closer family relationships than foreign countries like ours. They're whole family is like one family, when one gets married, everyone knows everyone, and here, its just marriage, and then get to know our partners parents and siblings, and i dont think it goes beyond that, maybe not in this age anyway.

I dont have a image of my uncle, well the guy whose married to my mums elder sister, we tried chatting for abit, but i was (shy) well not really, my chinese sucks so bad, i didnt know what to say, plus he embarassed me by asking "are you going to get married yet?" and i replied (giggerling) and looking up at my mum, then replying im only 19 haha. And he kept asking me, so i was like okay, his making me feel bad enough i dont even have a girlfriend yet. So i quickly flexed and let my mum back on.

We were sharing photoes of us and its weird because nobody really has any family photoes on their computer anymore, and we dont have pictures of our siblings too. I sent one of andy and michael, and then myself. My mum was being weird, because i sent one with michael and all girls in the background, shes like now send one of you and all girls, i was like, this isnt a competition. (weird emoticon face (shifty eyebrow one) well it was fun/very interesting, i want to see what the guy looks like who stole my gun when i was little. His probably bigger than me now.

But we're definiatly visitng them next year, im so applying for my passport now, otherwise i'd have visited this year. Better attend and do well in manderin school too. If anybody is interested in attending manderin school with me again for the 20th time, message me on msn haha. After what happened this year, i dont think Sarahs going to be attending it with me again haha. But will definiatly work on my language and definiatly visit family next year. Atleast i have something to look foward to for 2010.

I like this new blog thing, its alot more convenient the format, the display, the everything, its so much easier than the old system.  God bless.

Hot headed!

So last night i was talking to my mums white boyfriend, his name is Louey, not sure how to spell it. And the religion topic happend to come up. His a Catholic, im a Christian, mum is Buddhist. We start conversing about the differences and the history of the religion. If i leanrt one thing last night, its that Catholics dont eat meat on fridays i think it was. The weather is doing my head in. And with all respect, but i dont believe in the popes, and the "if your a pope, you cant get married thing" its no wonder why so many popes molest children. Perhaps im being too direct, but, i dont believe in the popes of this centrury. Louey quoted "popes are a load of bullshit, catholicsism is the biggest religion at the moment.

Im sure there are some legit catholics out there, but theres been so much controversy about popes and molestation. Makes you wonder why that system still exists. Loueys also been to paradise a couple of times. He said the services are very interesting, humouring, and new. Whereas at a catholic church, the pope sais the same thing every church event, its boring, he doesnt relate it to any modern day activities, its just reading and thats it, its no wonder why so many people fall asleep. He said its too traditional. And in my perspective, to many people view churches these days as too traditional, and i believe thats one contribution to why people hesitate on giving religion a go.

And then my mum talks about buddhism, and i get fired up about how that religion has no destination. I respect other religions, but when it comes to comparing, perhaps i get too fired up. I say what i believe, and pretty much i dont care what people think of me in that category. Buddhism is defined as escaping the cycle of rebirth, we feel pain and suffering everytime we are reborn. Christianity, offers salvation, a destination after death, a spiritual existence. In my opinion, thats more sensible, they also follow the 10 commandments, including being a vegitarian, it also doesnt imply that their God forgives us of our sins. Now to me, that seems like a impossible religion. We all have our beliefs, i just wanted to point that out.

I swear this weather is doing my head in. Im feeling so stressed, anxious, exausted, my eyes feel heavy, im pissed off with my brother and a friend. I still have this infection and still recovering from my last hayfever attack. I also missed church this morning. So what i was trying to do last night was make my mum come back to church with her boyfriend, that was the first time i spoke to him properly too. He probably thinks that im a hot headed person. But he respects me so, thats good. it was a interesting conversation, i should warn people beforehand if i ever talk religiously again.

My mum was saying, howcome we never see the pastors donate, and howcome theres offerings every church day, and when pastors go interstate and overseas to preach, where do they get the money from. I have no idea, but i said that they are sponsored, and that they use the money to build more churches around the world, and for special events to bring new people into the community. And then i went and said its the level of faith, you give on faith, and perhaps this came out wrong, but i said, you dont get it because you lack faith, thats the whole purpose, you give without knowing, its like believing without seeing, and i know there will always be doubts, i have doubts and still do. But when im fired up, i ignore my flaws and just elaborate onwards.

I have a thought, and its becoming a stereotype about pastors, but i wont post it here, i'll just keep it in my mind for now.

Thats me.